Showing posts from April, 2015

troubled 2 / lost 1

I figured I'm lost again.

Like, I'm neck deep in so much stuff that I question myself again.
What am I doing?
Where am I heading to?
What do I expect from it all?
In all honesty, I'm not sure.
For sure, I may not want to do this all my life.
For now, it pays for my student loans
and also for things I want and need.
But for reals, what the hell am I doing here?
I shouldn't be here.
I shouldn't be anywhere.
I don't know where I belong, where to go
Where to be
Once again, I'm lost.
What do I love? Certainly not myself
Not my life
I know I should count my blessings
I had it better than others
But is this what I want?
But it's something.
Is happiness something?
Again with the happiness.
Maybe just die and be happy
or haunt the astral plane forever
Even in death
I can't be sure I'll have peace
When will that come, I don't want to know
But what I do want to know
Is how
and when
can I get out of here
and go someplace else
this is the place …

regret? 1

there's always that saying that you shouldn't have any regrets in life.

well... i didn't regret taking this job, but i do have some regrets about it.

troubled 1

The things I do for love.

I question myself a lot. It wasn't a mistake, but I'm still as emotionally unstable as before.