thinking about the future. again.

 so I recently got a bank loan, to buy an apartment! yay!

although
I'm worried about the future. 
cos it's a lot to pay. per month and overall. 
the cost of independence, huh. 

I'm thinking of what would happen when I run out of money. 
I took a stupid decision when the job offered me a pension, but I took epf. 
so when I'm 60 and end my run at my job (if I stay that long), I won't be paid anymore. 
with pension, I will get some money til I die. 
with epf, I get to use whatever money is in there, saved up during my work days. 
until it dries up. 
or I die, whichever comes first. 

so I'm thinking, what would happen when I can't pay for my apartment anymore. 
I don't think I have people to depend on. 
I don't know if mum and dad would leave us with any money.
I don't know if my sister will ever marry a rich person like she wants. 

because living is hard, especially when you think about how much it costs. 
whoever said money can't buy you happiness probably didn't have to worry about not having money. 
there's so many things to pay for to live. 
and heavens know everything would get more expensive as the years go by. 
and I'm worried I can't afford to live. 

I'm scared that maybe I'll not find a happy ending in life. 
I know many others are probably thinking the same thing. 
but I'm worried about myself first. 

there's so many things to pay for, and I'm afraid I'll run out of money before I die.
and then what?

probably something I don't have to worry now, since I still have a job.
but whatever financial decisions I make now would impact the future me. 

even dying is expensive.