mell's new blog

so usually I go down the the capital city and it's just another trip.  this time, however, something felt different. is it because I'm actually working? maybe. this trip was made with two consciousness in mind. 1. it's for work, which means I will have to handle some important things, and watch over a co-worker. my boss is independent enough, and he knows I am too. the other guy, not so much. 2. the pandemic is still ongoing, which means travelling in a plane with little to no physical distancing is risky, even if the plane has hepa filters as they claim. 

another birthday. eventually i feel like they're going to stop to mean anything. at least my close friends remember.  being where i am, at thirty, isn't exactly what i had in mind when growing up.  i wanted to write books, live a creative life, maybe fall in love and live abroad.  i have done none of that.  i remember having a list of things i want to do by thirty.  i have no idea where that list is anymore, but chances are, i have only done a fraction of what's on that list.  so far, i'm happy at where i am.  i've gotten good things, and a steady income and a permanent job.  i lived through a global pandemic, so far.  i finished my masters, finally, but hopefully there's a graduation ceremony,  just to make it all worthwhile.  one thing that i wanted, something i've wished for more than anything is to feel less lonely.  and that is one thing i haven't resolved.  i don't know, maybe it's me being an introvert, or that i wouldn't open up to an

yesterday, I met up with a friend who is also a tarot card reader. I met him a while back, we dated once or twice. but we decided we're not compatible so we stayed friends.  anyway. so he read my cards.  and it's quite interesting.  i've previously mentioned that i would like to move out and get a place of my own.  and also i'm uncertain of my future in this job.  the cards said: 1. a new place would bring new changes in my life, good ones. i just need to take time to find the right one.  2. family is in the way, especially mum. she's worried that me buying a new place would be a waste, like my sister. besides, she'd said before that she'll feel lonely without me in the house.  3. my job is good for me, but any intention to move or leave should only be considered when a job offer comes along, especially one that's abroad.  as much as some poeple has told me how tarot cards work (that it can be simply like a cold reading), i accept and believe it, but doe