high-functioning depression

this. sounds like me.
therefore, it's here.
i feel it's important i'm reminded about this.

life #16

so this year, starting the year with no resolutions whatsoever, I find myself wanting to do two things, or at least, to start with: 1. stick with the job for a year, and 2. live.
and so, it's november. and it's almost one year in the civil service. i started out being all jaded about it, but now, i truly don't care anymore. it's not that i don't care about the job; i still do, because i need it more than it needs me. but what i don't care so much anymore is how people see me in my job position. i'm starting to be rebellious and not give a f*. basically, i'm no longer sorry.

work #5/life #15

i thought i forgot to post something for my birthday.
turns out i did post something.
but i skipped september, because i was lost again.

i usually drown my sorrows in books and writing, but my writing blog has sat there unattended for 4 years without any form of actual leading-to-a-full-novel writing. It's just reblogs on writing notes and advice. i don't feel like i have anything good enough to write about.

life #14: birthday no. 28

I don't really care for birthdays anymore.
Not mine, at least. I still care for other people's birthdays.

life #12/sad #1

I'm in a constant state of sadness. Some people call that depression. But I guess you couldn't tell. Unless you've read this blog. Or know me. Then again, people who know me won't think I am.
Either way.

#books: th1rteen r3asons why

so i finally got done with thirteen reasons why, and it's the first book i've actually finished this year.

i can see why it's controversial, but i find that it's in no way glorifying suicide.

hope #2 / life #11

what is luck?
how do we consider ourselves lucky?

some measure luck based on success in life, i.e. you're successful because you're lucky that you grab or get opportunities other missed.
other consider luck to be something that you are destined i.e. you're born lucky, because you have enough money to get what you want.